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She had reached carer’s burnout!’ — Irene’s unpaid carers story

4 February 2025

Advocate Karen Neilson shares another story of an unpaid carer’s support journey in Edinburgh.

A photo of advocate Karen Neilson

Irene had previously worked with VoiceAbility and had a positive experience, enabling her to reach out again and ask us for support.

Initially she wanted support to put a care plan in place for her daughter. However, this changed throughout our work together.

Irene was very worried about what would happen to her daughter after her own death.

She has spent well over 50 years as a full-time carer for her daughter.

Irene’s daughter was now in supported living, but Irene remained continually available to provide any support she needed, including advocating between social services. This meant Irene would receive distressed calls from her daughter in the early hours of the morning.”

After Karen had spent time chatting, Irene’s greatest fear soon became clear: 

When she was no longer able to advocate for her daughter, she was worried that she may be moved by social services, out of Edinburgh.”

This fear had been praying on Irene’s mind, impacting her health and well-being. She was struggling to sleep and was often in tears when we talked, she had reached carer’s burnout’

Social services held public guardianship for Irene’s daughter, and they had initially refused to provide any written assurance to Irene that her daughter would never be moved out of Edinburgh. Irene felt the only way to deal with this would be the lengthy and costly route of going through the courts to get back family guardianship.

The advocacy sessions went at a pace that Irene was comfortable with, enabling her to be open with what she needed to happen. 

Karen liaised with social services to develop a collaborative working relationship. She highlighted the human aspect of Irene’s requests and discussed how her needs could be accommodated while working within policy limitations.

The Chief Social Work Officer for Edinburgh was able to provide an email reassuring Irene that there was no intention to ever move her daughter from Edinburgh ─ but if, due to unforeseen circumstances, in the future that may need to happen, then the extended family would be fully consulted before any action was taken.”

Irene was delighted! She finally felt confident and relaxed enough, and began to put her own needs first, possibly for the first time in over 50yrs. She contacted me a few days later to share that she was going on holiday for the first time ever!

Irene went on to say: I can not thank you enough for your sterling and determined efforts to have this matter resolved and I am happy to have this matter now closed.

Karen, thank you. I’m not often lost for words but your help, understanding, determination and wise support has, at times, left me speechless.

You have made me laugh and cry with your kindness and you also made me look at my own way of dealing with things, suggesting different tactics which might help, and they did. 

I am only sorry we did not meet and, if you ever find the need for a coffee, you have my number.”